we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
