marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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