just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
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