i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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