Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
