Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
