What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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