it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
