The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I would ride that face into the sunset
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
