I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
How does one acquire holy water?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
