I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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