Small penises have feelings too.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
