hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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