I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Operation Purity has been aborted
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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