so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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