You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
