he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
