I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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