no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
