She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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