Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
