wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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