Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
