ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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