her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
