Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize