If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
