What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just saw a hot homeless man
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
