Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He did a backflip because drugs
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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