im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Only a mothe r could love this liver
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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