Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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