bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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