Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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