He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
