wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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