she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
