Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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