whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You smell like stripper and shame
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
