whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
