no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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