I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
