i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
