Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
