I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
