Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I look better un-naked...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
