Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
