loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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