i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
my being single is dangerous.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
