He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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