kristin has been a bad kristin
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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