Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
