just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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