you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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