Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
