'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
