I'm drive I can fine osifer
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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