Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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