Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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