Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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