Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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